The Smiling Onion

Vegetarian and Gluten-free Cooking

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Chestnut Hummus

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Large quantities of chickpeas and garlic (two of my absolute favorite things!) are unfortunately prohibited on the Low FODMAP diet. For me, this meant going through some pretty severe hummus withdrawal.

Incredibly, I created a pretty darn good hummus substitute completely by accident, one lazy evening when I wanted pizza but had absolutely nothing in the way of typical sauce fixings. There were no tomatoes, no pesto-making herbs, and no olives for a tapenade. To make matters worse, the crust I had thrown together definitely did not lend itself to a white-pizza set-up, especially since I didn’t have any cheese. As I often do in these situations, I pulled out a blender and started throwing some random stuff inside, in the hopes I could come up with something spreadable and yummy. Lentils went in, then chestnuts, then some herbes de provence, olive oil, and spices. When I tasted the concoction, I was elated. It was a complete failure in terms of being a pizza sauce,  but it tasted remarkably similar to hummus!

After dancing around the kitchen for a good half hour rejoicing over having hummus back in my life again, I had one of the worst pizzas of my life for dinner (the absence of both cheese and sauce proved devastating) and promptly abandoned it in favor of some chips and chestnut “hummus.” Back to dancing – I could eat this stuff all day!

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Parsnip Mash

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Passover is coming up and I know one dish that will be on my table this year: parsnip mash. Have you ever made it? If not, you are definitely missing out!

Parsnip mash is quite similar to mashed potatoes, but much less fussy. The parsnip has a lovely sweetness that adds to the comfort-food factor and lends itself beautifully to fresh herbs like the rosemary and chives in this recipe. Parsnips also have a unique consistency that (if you follow the directions below) yields the loveliest of mashes:  as you dig into billows of light, fluffy,  pillowy goodness, you’ll be left wondering why potatoes still have a monopoly here.

In fact, they really shouldn’t. Here are three reasons why parsnips are actually a better fit for the infamous mash:

1. You can use your food processor. 

If you tried to make mashed potatoes in a food processor, you’d end up with a gluey, starchy, heavy mess. Not so with parsnips! Processing, in contrast, yields a mash that is  light, airy, and fluffy. No gluiness or starchiness at all.

2. Parsnip mash reheats beautifully.

Ever tried to reheat mashed potatoes the next day and failed miserably? They are a finicky food to reheat and tend to become grainy or otherwise unappealing after refrigeration. This parsnip mash, in contrast, can easily be reheated on the stovetop. You don’t even have to add liquid; just stir until hot!

3. You don’t need to add copious amounts of fat and liquid to get it right.

Mashed potatoes are not mashed potatoes without the addition of lots of butter or oil and a liquid like cream, non-dairy milk, or vegetable broth. You also have to add the fat before the liquid if you don’t want to end up with a grainy texture. All you need with this parsnip mash – though it might taste like it has a ton of butter in it – is a bit of olive oil and a little bit of the water the parsnips were cooked in. Nothing else!

Did I convince you? If so, let’s get to the recipe!

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Mexican Chocolate Chia Pudding

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Yes, this is the second recipe I’ve posted recently involving Mexican-spiced chocolate. But can you blame me? I was so enamored with my Mexican chocolate hamantaschen filling that I just had to keep the love fest going with a delicious chia pudding. Especially since — despite making and eating chia pudding on a regular basis — this is the first chia pudding recipe I’ve posted in two years of blogging!

How can this be?!  Chia pudding is one of the world’s most perfect breakfasts. It is remarkably filling, nutrient-packed, and exceedingly versatile. All you need are some chia seeds, some liquid, and some “seasonings.” I’ve made chia puddings “seasoned” with matcha, raspberry-black sesame, maple, you name it. I even recently made a savory chia pudding with turmeric and ginger. But today, I wanted to share this Mexican chocolate chia pudding with you, because it’s just what you need to start your day off right: with flava.

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Hipster Hamantaschen Fillings

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Purim is around the corner which means it’s hamantaschen time! Last Purim, I created a 15-minute hamantaschen recipe that happens to be raw, vegan, grain-free, and sugar-free (sweetened with dates), so be sure to check out that recipe if you haven’t yet.  It’s super easy and really delicious!

This year, I decided to focus on fillings, because I feel like there is just so much wasted potential there. I mean, donut fillings have gone way beyond your standard cream or chocolate at this point (dulce de leche, passion fruit….there are a ton of donut shops in NYC that really understand the opportunity that comes with the word “filling”). But hamantaschen? Every year,  I walk past bakeries and see hamantaschen filled with your typical jam and poppy seed. It’s  nothing to complain about of course — those fillings are traditional and delicious — but can we get some creative ones too? Let’s enter the world of “artisan” hamantaschen fillings already!

I’ve attempted to do that here, with three fillings that would probably be on the docket if your favorite hipster joint started selling hamantaschen. (Disclaimer: I don’t consider myself a hipster, so I could be wrong about this.) They are Mexican-Chocolate Chestnut, Salted-Maple Peanut,  and Poppy-Seed Cream Cheese (the least hipster and most Jewish of the lot). They are all low FODMAP as long as you don’t overdo it; the Mexican Chocolate-Chestnut is vegan, and the Poppy-Seed Cream Cheese is nut-free. Last year’s 3-ingredient chocolate filling (vegan and raw) is also worth revisiting if FODMAPs aren’t a concern.

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Simple Citrus-Roasted Fennel

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We’ve been on a bit of an emotional rollercoaster weather-wise lately, at least in New York City. Beautiful, warm days followed by raw, biting cold. If your moods are severely impacted by weather (as mine are), it can be hard to stay uplifted when the temperature plunges and the wind picks up.

But there is a mood lifter – food. Rejoice in the fact that you can leave your oven on for 45 minutes, which in the warmer months feels at best irresponsible (if you have AC) and at worst like death (if you don’t). Embrace hearty, umami-laden foods like fennel and let your senses feast on bright, vibrant citrus (winter’s best candy). You’ll be feeling better in no time.

This dish is extremely simple but tastes quite complex. Sliced fennel is drizzled with olive oil, salt, and pepper; then covered with orange slices. The fennel becomes tender and meaty when left in the oven and is made even more delicious with the addition of a citrus-glaze which takes almost no time at all to prepare and which really takes this dish to the next level. (Once you make this glaze, I guarantee you’ll want to use it on other veggies too!) When everything comes out of the oven, you’ll be ready to emerge from your pile of blankets, no matter how cold it is outside.

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Coconut-Peanut Collards with Fried Plantains

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Collard greens are one of my absolute favorite vegetables. They do take a bit of work to prepare properly (blanching is a must, IMO) but when you do so, they have a wonderful, sweet flavor that lends itself to all sorts of spice mixes and dishes.

If you’ve ever had Ethiopian food, you’ve probably had collards sautéed with copious amounts of garlic and ginger (delicious). They are also great with cumin, cayenne, paprika — all the strong, bold spices. After they’ve been spiced like there’s no tomorrow, I like to throw in a sweet vegetable or two like carrot or sweet potato. But most importantly, they are amazing with creamy, zesty, coconut-peanut sauces like this one.

This dish is uber satisfying: warming, nourishing, and flavor-packed. The creamy, nuttiness of the collards combined with the sweet, crisp, and wonderfully starchy fried plantains is divine. It can easily be an entree or a side – if you want to make it a heartier entree, throw in some chickpeas and/or serve it with your favorite grain (though I think the plantains provide the perfect grain-free starch element). Finally, it fits the bill for all kinds of diets: gluten-free, vegan, grain-free, and Low FODMAP. If you wanted to make it Paleo, I’m pretty sure you could just use almond butter in place of peanut and you’d be all set. Yay for deliciousness that almost everyone can eat!

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Creamy Nori-Hemp Dressing (Vegan)

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Are you ready for my #1 piece of salad advice? Make your salads and dressings at home.

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve ordered a salad at a decent restaurant, only to have it arrive with a gelatinous vinaigrette that has clearly been squeezed right out of a package. This is a huge pet peeve, right up there with icy smoothies (you can read my thoughts on that and get a decidedly NON-ICY smoothie recipe here) and tofu scrambles that try to taste like egg (I think they should taste more like this). Being presented with any of these items usually has the unfortunate result of launching a 3-minute rant, which my dining partner (who may not share my opinion that the world revolves around food) has to sit through, trying – and likely failing, possibly rightly so – to fein interest or sympathy.

Another recurring problem with ordering salad in a restaurant is that the name of your chosen salad (Ex. Portobello and Mozzarella) is, far too often, actually just the name of the garnishes that will top your huge pile of $12 lettuce. Outrage!

Hence the aforementioned salad advice. In addition to saving you heartache and cash, making salad and salad dressing is one of the best ways to start flexing your creativity muscles in the kitchen. You have a built-in platform (a pile of fresh veggies – what could go wrong?) and the flexibility to combine them any way you want. Experiment with different cooking methods (I love combining raw veg with roasted), textures (crunchy pecans, creamy goat cheese…)  and flavor profiles (sweet, sour, spicy…). Elevate your salad by taking an element and transforming it in some way: Why not coat those crunchy nuts in maple syrup and cayenne and roast them in the oven first, for example, before throwing them atop your masterpiece? Finally, make an awesome dressing. Because awesome dressings have the power to transform even ordinary salads into bowls of pure glory.

This dressing, in fact, is actually best on an “ordinary” salad. (Think romaine or kale, cucumber, carrot, hard-boiled egg (if not vegan), chickpeas, etc.) Hearty farmer-style salads, in other words.  The zestiness of the roasted nori combined with the creaminess of the hemp gives the dressing a caesar or ranch-like quality that will leave you licking your fingers. But unlike caesar or ranch dressings – which aren’t generally touted for their health benefits – this one packs a nutritional punch. Hemp seeds are rich with protein, an optimal ratio of Omega-3 and 6 fatty acids, and a hefty dose of fiber. And the roasted nori adds minerals like iodine, magnesium, potassium, and selenium, to name just a few. Finally, you won’t be able to tell that this dressing is dairy-free – it’s as creamy and zesty as they come.

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Matcha Custard

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I didn’t realize until recently how fitting it would be to make custard for Valentine’s Day. Not because it’s insanely delicious (though there’s definitely that) or because you can serve it in cute little dishes (though there’s that too.) But because, to make custard properly, you really need to exhibit some of your best relationship skills.

So, in the spirit of Valentine’s Day, here are three relationship skills/lessons told through the experience of making custard. (Okay, I may have a bit of Dear Abby envy. This was way too much fun!)

Skill 1: Patience

Traditional custard is a mixture of milk and eggs, slowly thickened over a low flame. And the key word here is slow. If you get sick of waiting for it to thicken and raise the heat too high, your eggs will start to curdle, which means you’ll get chunks of cooked egg in your custard. The same thing will happen if you add the hot milk to your beaten eggs too aggressively. The trick is patience: add just a little at first; then once the egg has grown accustomed to the presence of the milk, you’ll start to drizzle in the rest. You then get to warm up the mixture – again, gradually and patiently on the stove, making sure to give it lots of love and attention (aka stirring) so nothing curdles.

Relationship Lesson:If you try to make an abrupt change without making sure your partner is on board, the relationship is likely to curdle. Best practice is to make changes and suggest improvements gradually, making sure your partner feels loved and supported (keep stirring that egg mixture!) throughout the process.

Skill 2: Trust

There is usually a point in the custard making process where I’m positive something has gone wrong. Custard sometimes takes its sweet time to thicken, and gives almost zero indication that it will thicken until it does. During those painful minutes when it looks like nothing is going to happen and I’m going to be left with a pot of liquid, remembering that I’ve been in this boat before and  always come out on top is key. Otherwise, I might be tempted to self-destructively turn up the heat or just drink the liquid then and there. I have to remember that the custard has always thickened in the end – no matter how much it looks like it won’t – and trust that this time won’t be any different.

Relationship Lesson: In a relationship built on trust, you always give your partner the benefit of the doubt. There will be times when you’ll question whether or not he/she has your back. When this happens, avoid getting worked up before you have all the information, since turning up the heat too fast could trigger exactly what you’re trying to avoid. Instead, trust your partner and give him/her time to explain before losing your cool. 

Skill 3: Experimentation

Maybe things do go awry in your custard-making process. The first time I made this matcha custard, it tasted great but had a drab, very unappealing color that just didn’t cut it. I normally outright refuse to put color in anything, but it occurred to me that maybe I could find a natural green food coloring that would work. I ended up finding this recipe, which suggested boiling spinach and then blending until completely smooth. I was a little bit nervous: Would it be too subtle? Too bright? Would it taste spinachy? (The recipe promised it wouldn’t, but I had my doubts.) Thankfully, I took the plunge, and it came out perfectly. No spinach remained after blending – it was completely liquid – and a couple tablespoons yielded the perfect muted green color. Oh, and there was no spinachy taste, whatsoever.

Relationship Lesson: It can be scary to try new things, especially if your relationship is already on the rocks. But sometimes breaking routine can be just what you need to lift you out of the doldrums and into the light. Don’t be afraid to give your relationship that little pop of color it was missing: you’ll be glad you did. 

Now that we’ve all learned soooo much, I think we deserve some custard, no?

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Lemongrass Baked Tofu

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I used to always eat tofu one way: stir-fried with sesame oil and tamari. And it was always delicious, which is perhaps why I never considered getting out of the Asian flavor profile realm until the past couple of years or so. When it’s not broke, don’t fix it — right?

Well, sesame oil and tamari are still my go-to seasonings when making a quick tofu stir-fry, but lately I’ve also gotten really into other flavor profiles. After all, tofu is one of the most versatile ingredients out there – it will soak up whatever flavors you create! It also lends itself to a variety of cooking techniques beyond the classic stir-fry: from boiling, to baking, to deep-frying. (If you’ve never tried boiled tofu, be sure to check out my Asian Tofu Salad!) Anyway, I started experimenting with other flavor profiles for my tofu when I got into morning tofu scrambles like this spicy one, which kicks it up a notch with some Indian spices. Then came baked tofu of all different types – with one of my favorites being this super savory lemongrass variety. Baked tofu takes a little bit more time than a stir-fry, because it does require pressing to get that optimal baked tofu texture that lends itself to topping sandwiches and salads. (See why you don’t have to press your tofu for stir-fries.) But it’s still pretty darn easy to make and awesome to have on hand in the fridge for when you want a quick salad topper, sandwich-filler, or just a satisfying, protein-packed snack.

This recipe is also a great jumping off point for you to do some experimentation with different spice combos and create your own signature tofu. Because once you make baked tofu once, you’ll definitely want to make it again.

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How to Cook Perfect Zucchini

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Zucchini can be hard to get just right. It often cooks unevenly no matter how evenly you cut it – some pieces will start to get translucent while others are still closer to raw. And it can go from undercooked to overcooked in a matter of minutes; in fact, even if you manage to cook it perfectly, it  has a nasty habit of overcooking itself with residual heat after you take it out of the pan. To be clear, if you know your way around the kitchen at all, you are unlikely to overcook zucchini to the point where it’s unpleasant to consume; however, it’s quite easy for the flesh to end up more translucent than white all the way through, and in my book, that’s just a tad too far.

Why? Because when you hit that perfect zucchini doneness, it’s almost like a different vegetable all together. Tender yet crunchy, with a mild, creamy flavor – it has none of that unpleasant (can I call it squeaky?) texture that zucchini haters always cite when asked how they could dislike such a common vegetable.

So how do you do it? Three simple steps.

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